The Dentist

A trip to the dentist.

Well, the dentist actually sent me to the Oral Surgeon. I guess he didn't want to have to put up with my low pain tolerance.

So, I go make the appointment. No problem.

Take the day off from work. No problem.

Don't eat or drink the night before. No problem.

Wake up the next day and get ready to go. PROBLEM!

Apparently my fears all caught up with me the night before. The fact that my wife was watching "Trauma, Life in the ER" the night before didn't help. I argued for SportsCenter, but, oh well, thought I could handle a little hospital coverage.

After watching the people all in pain, with skull fractures, leg amputations, and gunshot wounds, I started to panic about my relatively mild upcoming appointment the next morning. Has anyone ever died from tooth extractions? Possibly, but I am sure the numbers are extremely low. So, I mustered up my courage, and passed by the unused coffee maker (How did they expect me to make it through the morning with out the best part of waking up?) and I headed to the ominous looking building down the street. (Actually just an ordinary looking building, but that doesn't sound as dramatic)

"Good Morning! You must be Scott" the cheery receptionist said, with a smile on her face. She must be a sadist and was looking forward to my pending torture. She handed me some forms to fill out and I sat down. One question was "...suffer from recent nausea, vomiting...." and I was tempted to answer YES. I checked the no box and continued. Basic questions....medical conditions, etc.... Then the final page. The one releasing them from liability if anything goes wrong. I read down the list of possible complications. Cuts in cheek or lips, bone chips, reactions to anethesia, jaw breakage.....JAW BREAKAGE?????? I admit, I tried to think of a reason to postpone everything right there. I waited for a freak power outage. I reluctanly took the forms up to the desk and waited.

Finally, after what seemed like minutes they called me to the back. I was put in the chair, hooked up to monitors and wires, covered with a large bib, and she left the room. I waited in the chair silently, waiting for the governor to call with a stay of execution.

The doctor walked in and I was relieved to see a man in his early to mid 50's, looking quite confident and experienced. I was expecting Doogie Howser to do the procedure. Then I wondered if perhaps this mature looking man did just get out of dental school, after a long career as an alignment specialist in the tire department at Sears, and just needed a change. Too late now to worry.

The needle.

"Make a fist with your left hand" he said. I did and closed my eyes and waited for the prick in the arm. He tapped....looking for a vein. Nothing. Perhaps I was to far gone already. No alarms were going off on the monitors, so I guess I was ok. He turned my fist over and poked the needle into a vein near my knuckles. I heard him say "Missed...." as I felt the stinging. The right arm. "Make a fist with you right hand" I heard. Eyes still closed I wondered if I would soon look like I was undergoing acupuncture. "Got it" he said as the needle slid in. Oxygen over my nose, and I remember them sticking something odd in my mouth to bite down on. Was I about to get shock therapy?

I opened my eyes and saw my wife sitting there. I was lying on a cot in what appeared to be a little doorless closet. Was I in the ER? What went wrong? I couldn't be done....I don't remember..... Then I was aware of pieces of gauze in my mouth and a funny feeling in my head. I heard someone telling instructions, and hoped she was getting all the information. I was only trying to stand up and not fall back down. We walked out, (she lead me out) and we were pointed to a side door. Apparently they won't let you leave through the main lobby, in case you were to scare away other patients as you stagger through, mubbling and drooling, looking like you stayed way past the last call at the local pub. I do remember trying to be funny, telling my wife I wanted to use the stairs as she pushed me into the elevator.

Wal Mart
I remember sitting in a chair in front of the pharmacy, and I must have written a check, because there is scribbling in my checkbook ledger, but other than that, it's all a blur. (I just hope I didn't leave there with another computer)

Home again.
Sleeping....waking....dizzy....hungry.....eating....pain.....dizzy.....pain killers....sleeping. Oh yeah, bleeding in there somewhere too.

The next day.
Did I make too much of a big deal out of going to get a few teeth pulled? Well perhaps, but that would not have been very interesting to read about then, would it? And after all that, the dentist kept the teeth so I didn't get a dime from the tooth fairy.